I decided to stay home and have a day of freedom this past weekend, while everyone went off and did their thing. I was really glad I did that. I needed it badly. I realized that day, that it had been a VERY long time since I had any time alone, and I needed some quiet. This is unusual for me. Usually, quiet drives me crazy, and sends me looking for walls to scale, but well? It had been weeks since I'd had more than a couple hours to do whatever I wanted.
Hell. Who am I kidding? Months.
So, everyone left, and I got in the shower. I did have plans with friends, which was my original reason for not going with my family that day, but they fell through at the last minute. I was secretly glad, because I was feeling a bit forlorn, and couldn't really decide if I would be the best company or not. I hate it when I'm like that, because I get one of two results: 1. I figure out how to pull it together, and am my usual animated self, plus a bit more, because positive energy can feed off of negative energy if you pull the right tools out at the right time. Or, 2. I just can't get it together, and I'm very, very quiet, just trying to hold it together enough not to cry in front of people and embarrass the hell out of myself.
I have had one hell of a traumatic year, truth be told. I am still not comfortable going into detail, but it's been pretty hard. I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, however, and that is the important part there.
Since those plans fell through, I just decided to go with it. And despite this, it took me about half an hour to find just the right outfit. I guess I really do dress for myself. It is... what it is.
But once I did, I decided to just go wherever my feet would take me. So, I opened up my Peggy Lee collection on my iPod, threw it in my purse, attached headphones, and took off.
A date with myself. Sounded pretty damn good.
I am so glad to be living in the city again, where I can actually take advantage of things without having to drive to them. My original plan was to just walk to the Division/Clinton district, get a coffee, read my book, check out a few shops, and walk home. But I reached that area, and I felt like I wasn't done walking. It just felt really good to be out in the warm air, talking in the sights, scents from all the food carts, seasonal flora, sounds, people, and their colourful summer fashions. Portland can be dreary about 7 months out of the year. But that other five? It's pretty fantastic.
I love walking through the neighbourhoods of inner Southeast Portland. They are beautiful, with their mature trees, and lovely old houses. I feel so lucky to be back here!
So, I kept going.
I reached Hawthorne, with my sights set on The Hazel Room. That place is great, because it's in a fabulous old house. Very charming little place with great cocktails, coffee options, light fare, etc. It is also next door to a little shop I had been wanting to check out.
But when I got to Hawthorne? I didn't feel like I was ready to stop walking, so I kept on.
My walk took me a few more blocks to Belmont. I decided, finally, to turn the direction of my feet off of Southeast Thirtieth, and I headed east a few blocks. It took me a minute to decide where to settle down for a bit, but I ended up at The Pied Cow.
Did I want Hookah, or wine? Hm. Wine. Yes...
So, I sat outside in their lovely garden area, pulled out my book, pulled back a glass of Pinot Grigio, and just enjoyed being where I was for a few minutes.
Until I was done with that, at which point, I pulled out my phone, and began texting people I thought might be free that evening.
Did I mention I'm kind of an extravert? Yes. Hello. My name is Hedro. I don't do alone. What was I thinking? Ha!
Anyway, the walk had been just what I needed, and I felt ready to rejoin the human race. So my friend Candice joined me, and we had a fantastic visit!
Sometimes, all you need is a nice long walk and a friend to make it all better. I am still in a great mood from that walk. Why did I ever stop doing that?
-H
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