Friday, November 9, 2012

Days off. I fail at Nablopomo...

...but if that's all I fail at?  I'm doing pretty good.  I decided to dress fancy today, because it has been days since I have been able to do that.  House cleaning does pay pretty well, but let's face it.  It's not very glamourous.  And well?  I need glamourous.  Sorry, but I do.

Today has been mostly about leisure.  Lunch out with the kids, a parent teacher conference thrown in for good measure, followed by dinner with friends in a bit.

The little one is doing well in school, and really blossoming.  She loves it, and has been making all sorts of progress just in the few months that she has been there.  This is great, and I am very happy to see that she is so happy.  I don't fantasize about having any sort of control over the lives of these people I brought into the world, but I sure am enjoying watching them find the things that make them happiest.

She asked me the other day whether she should be an opera singer, or an artist.  I told her she had plenty of time to decide, and well?  Why not be both?

Her teacher told her she already is an artist.  So cool.  I love this school so much!  I love the way that the people working there honestly care about these children, and not some agenda, or rigid curriculum, to the exclusion of all else.  I had the latter experience, growing up in LA. I don't miss it, and am glad to have found something better for my children.  School is challenging enough without all the added pressure of fitting into one particular mould, and being told you don't measure up, if you don't.

This may no longer be the case, but as an undiagnosed dyslexic in the 1980's, I encountered those very words via a couple of my teachers, and it made things very difficult for me, because I had trouble believing I could do much.  It made life pretty hard for me for a good, long time, actually.  So, finding a school that actually believes in meeting a child where they are and working with them accordingly? WIN!

It is not looking like Ru has dyslexia.  She seems to be plugging right along, within the range of whatever normal is. (I hate that term!)   But as I have mentioned before, my older daughter, Lily, has Mixed Expressive/Receptive disorder, and had extreme difficulty learning to read for quite a few years.  Well?  She is now in 4th grade, and is reading and writing this year.  I am so proud of her!  And so are her teachers!  Success is amazing to watch, especially when it's something that is just as important to the child, as it is to those around her, who care about her.  That is HUGE.

Growing up, I didn't have quite the same issues, but thanks to the way I was handled by the public school system, I had no confidence, and therefore no drive to succeed, until it really mattered, and well?  That meant community college to start off with.

So, to see her get excited about learning new things, and taking on new challenges?  One of the most satisfying moments of my life!

I may have failed at Nablopomo, but I must have at least done a couple things right.


Monday, November 5, 2012


I have some things to be grateful for, for sure. One of them, is the fact that we, as humans, are allowed to set boundaries for our own comfort, and well-being.  Sometimes, this means doing things others may not necessarily like, but may be necessary for ourselves, and our sanity.

I have had to say no to a few things lately, and it was extremely difficult, but necessary.  There are just not enough hours in the day for everything I want to do, so I have been needing to prioritize a ton, and stick to the core things, so that I don't burn out.

Wow.  Saying: "no."

It feels good, and awful, at the same time.

But as a good friend pointed out to me in the past week; it is not my job to save everyone from the onerous tasks that I may, under different circumstances, really excel at.  It is my job to take care of myself, because I do have other people in my life who depend on me, and need me to be there, instead of 50 different places, at once.  And even as I type this, I usually do have about 50 things going at once.  I do thrive on multitasking, but at some point, adding that extra ball is tough for any good juggler.

I also need to remember that I don't have local family support, as others may have.  The mister and I rarely get a night out together, and when we do, we have to pay a sitter.  I sometimes find myself getting pretty jealous of my friends who talk often about their kid-free weekends.  We get a few a year, and sometimes, they end up being filled with things we don't really want to do, like house maintenance, or other chores. 

So, free time?  For me?  It's really at a premium.  I need to remember that it is OK for me to say no to things when I am feeling like I am about to burn out.  I am extremely grateful that I have friends who understand this.  I guess that is part of growing up, 'non?


Sunday, November 4, 2012

The New Guy

I don't know why it took me so long to do this, but I finally upgraded my PC.  My old one is now 7 years old.  A while back, I upgraded my camera from a Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT, (The Baby, which I actually do still use on occasion,) to a Canon EOS 5D Mark II.  (The Beast.) To my chagrin, the Mark III has already been released.  I sometimes really hate technology.  It is getting damn near impossible to keep up.  But whatever.  I have a kickass camera, and finally, the system to handle the thing.

Before, I was using my old PC for this, and it was kind of infuriating, and sad.  I really wanted to play with the Beast, a lot.  But alas, it was just really hard to process the photos with such limited RAM.  The lack of ram kept getting worse, until it was actually really bad, and not just for photos.  It got to where I could barely even run facebook, or other programs with it, because they were all taking up so much space.  Forget about running multiple programs at once.  Lightroom constantly crashed, even if I had nothing else running.  I found myself taking days to process a shoot, when it used to take me just a couple hours, at most. 

See, I'm one of those photogs who just believes in taking good photos to begin with.  I don't fool around with these programs a whole lot, other than to maybe make something slightly brighter here and there, and to resize them so I can show them on the web.  Other than that, I am not a big shopper.

So for a long time, I figured I would just cripple the thing through until I absolutely had to replace it.

And then my daughter dropped it on its power cord while it was still plugged in.

It... stopped charging.

I thought that the power cord was the problem, so I replaced that.


It was the port.  I was telling a friend about this the other day, and he laughed, saying:  "She broke your computer's vagina!"

True.  She did.  I once had a broken vagina, and lived, and now things are fine again.  I don't recommend pushing a baby with a nuchal hand out in 11 minutes, but what can you do?  Computers on the other hand?  They are not technically women.  They just can't handle that shit.

Digressing now, because I didn't mean for this to turn into a post about my lady parts. 

Anyway, the only way to charge the thing, was to hold the power cord upright in just the right position.  I propped it up on a pack of playing cards and a CD, hoping for the best.  It did OK for the last two weeks I really needed it to work, but I knew it was definitely time at that point.

And finally... it was time.  Time to get the new guy.  The new guy is pretty slick, I must say.  I think I'll be sharing lots more photos now!  Hooray!


Saturday, November 3, 2012

A ribald story of nut intrigue.

I was pretty hung over and exhausted yesterday.  If you read my previous post, it was just a long, long, week, and by the end of yesterday, I couldn't see the top or bottom of my world.  It was just TV snow.  And TV?  Let's face it.  I haven't watched that in a VERY long time.  What's TV?  I don't even know that bitch.  I missed going out with the ladies, and had to prioritize a couple of other things out, because I was just... done.  Like Ron Jeremy after one of his long weeks.  Done.  And I looked about as good, too.

So yeah.  I did the last of what I said I would do.  I baked a few dozen cookies for a school potluck... half were vegan, half made with butter, all gluten-free, because I love my peeps.  I do.  I really only felt obligated by my own mind, and gratitude, because they are just awesome people.  So... I do my best to give back even in small ways, when I can.  There were none left when we left the potluck, so I must have at least done something right.  But, sadly, I was on auto-pilot, and didn't think about where I was going.  A potluck.  And yeah, you are supposed to bring your own plates/utensils.


So then,  I was tired, hungry, and in it for the long haul, because it was a movie potluck.

It was still fun, but I had to cut out early, because I was... yeah, I was.

I get home, and the mister is still not there.  I had some organizing to do in the basement, so I was down there when he came in, and he found me pretty fast.  He usually looks for me when he walks in the door, no matter what part of the house I am in.  I could be upstairs taking a massive shit, and he'd still come in and talk to me about his day. 

That's love, right there.  That's what that is.

He hadn't eaten yet either, and was three sheets to the wind, because it was his night to go out and have a little fun.  He's a little bummed, because his buddy just got hired on at a different outfit, across town.  So, yeah.  If he can find time to get out with that guy, he should take it.

Earlier, I had gone to the store.  I did NOT feel like cooking when I got home, so I made myself a salad and threw some packaged sliced turkey on top.  He rummaged and looked for nuts.

He found some, but not the ones he so desired.  (Spicy Thai Cashews from Trader Joe's.)  I did buy these nuts earlier that day, but I put them in a different place than usual, because I got tired of him eating the whole bag before I could get to them, and I also like these nuts.

I also completely forgot that I did this.  Did I mention I was running on auto-pilot yesterday?

So, in my haze, I decided to have a little fun with him. 

"Hey, did you buy cashews?"

"Uh... I think I forgot."

"Damn.  I could really go for some cashews right about now."

"Sorry, it appears to be just past 9, and the store has closed.  There are nuts for you, in the store down the street... locked away... in the cold, and dark, and you can't go in there right now."


"I did buy myself a candy bar from there, and I'm not feeling it.  Have at.  It's on top of the fridge."

So, he ate that.  Then, this morning, I realized I did buy those nuts. 


Ah, well, what's a little delay in the ways of pleasure?  We're still alive.  And now, we have nuts!


Friday, November 2, 2012

Wow, it's been a while.

Lots of stuff has happened since my last post here.  Lots.  I am now currently running two businesses.

I don't look down.

That's my secret.

Things are going well there.  I actually hand off work to a couple of friends when I can't handle the load on my own, so that's nice.  The one that is doing really well, is my house cleaning business.  I decided to give that a whirl when I wanted to get more serious about paying off my photography studio.

Because... waiting to turn a profit from that?  Yeah... no.  It takes a LOT of time to get up and running with photography.  I have several thousands of dollars tied up in equipment now, so I must be serious!

Well, yes, I am.  In fact, while I was investing all the time, planning, and money into that little venture, (Including the purchase of a 3500 sq ft, commercially zoned house, which does include a studio space with a secure, separate entry,) I was singing "Climb Every Mountain" a lot.  Especially this line:  "A dream that will need all the love you can give, every day of your life... for as long as you live!"

It does.  And I do.

But I also have mondo responsibilities; raising two children, running the aforementioned haunted mansion, dealing with other things like investment properties, and the maintenance and upkeep involved there, involvement in our school, and needing to be in about 8 places at once, etc., etc., ad nauseum.  I have been doing this for a couple of years now, and all things considered, the photography portion of my life, the DREAM, portion of my life, has, admittedly, been pretty slow.

But!  I will not give up.  It will happen.  I have faith that it will.  Why?  Because I have been doing it for this long, and I still have the drive and determination to make it happen.  This is the first school year in which I have had this much time to dedicate to my craft, and get things going, so you can bet that I am going to make the most of it.

I am also learning to prioritize my time.  In the beginning of the house cleaning venture, I just started by taking any job I could get.  The response was amazing, and I was extremely flattered, so I did my best to make time for everyone.  Well, I learned that I am not superhuman.  I got overwhelmed very quickly.  I figured out that I need a few days a week to dedicate to the photography end of things, or it will never happen. That said, I do have a few regulars I clean for, 4 days a week.  That leaves three for photos, and maintaining my studio.

This past week has been a bit crazy making.  I admit to having a meltdown yesterday, but I am better today.  The crazy doesn't usually last too long before I find those boot straps again, and figure out what I need to do with them.

But, for fun, I'll give you a little rundown.  This is kind of what my week was like:  Get up while it's still dark out, actually cook breakfast, because we are healthy like that, drive the mister to work, swing by the school, and drop off kids, go to work, go to the gym, pick up kids, come home, help with homework, cook a reasonably nutritious dinner that said kids will actually eat, go over to the rental, paint, somehow figure out how to get the kids ready for Halloween, come home, crash.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  All goddamn week.

Until last night, when I did manage to squeeze in a beautiful, gifted hairdo from a dear friend, and cocktails.  Today?  All about leisure, and baking some cookies for a class potluck/movie night we will attend later on, and possibly, a night out with the ladies, if I am still awake by the time that rolls around.  Sounds pretty good to me.


Monday, July 16, 2012

On a walkabout...

I decided to stay home and have a day of freedom this past weekend, while everyone went off and did their thing.  I was really glad I did that.  I needed it badly.  I realized that day, that it had been a VERY long time since I had any time alone, and I needed some quiet.  This is unusual for me.  Usually, quiet drives me crazy, and sends me looking for walls to scale, but well?  It had been weeks since I'd had more than a couple hours to do whatever I wanted.

Hell.  Who am I kidding?  Months.

So, everyone left, and I got in the shower.  I did have plans with friends, which was my original reason for not going with my family that day, but they fell through at the last minute.  I was secretly glad, because I was feeling a bit forlorn, and couldn't really decide if I would be the best company or not.  I hate it when I'm like that, because I get one of two results:  1. I figure out how to pull it together, and am my usual animated self, plus a bit more, because positive energy can feed off of negative energy if you pull the right tools out at the right time.  Or, 2.  I just can't get it together, and I'm very, very quiet, just trying to hold it together enough not to cry in front of people and embarrass the hell out of myself.

I have had one hell of a traumatic year, truth be told.  I am still not comfortable going into detail, but it's been pretty hard.  I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, however, and that is the important part there.

Since those plans fell through, I just decided to go with it.  And despite this, it took me about half an hour to find just the right outfit.  I guess I really do dress for myself.  It is... what it is.
But once I did, I decided to just go wherever my feet would take me.  So, I opened up my Peggy Lee collection on my iPod, threw it in my purse, attached headphones, and took off.

A date with myself.  Sounded pretty damn good.

I am so glad to be living in the city again, where I can actually take advantage of things without having to drive to them.  My original plan was to just walk to the Division/Clinton district, get a coffee, read my book, check out a few shops, and walk home.  But I reached that area, and I felt like I wasn't done walking.  It just felt really good to be out in the warm air, talking in the sights, scents from all the food carts, seasonal flora, sounds, people, and their colourful summer fashions.  Portland can be dreary about 7 months out of the year.  But that other five?  It's pretty fantastic.

I love walking through the neighbourhoods of inner Southeast Portland.  They are beautiful, with their mature trees, and lovely old houses.  I feel so lucky to be back here!

So, I kept going.

I reached Hawthorne, with my sights set on The Hazel Room.  That place is great, because it's in a fabulous old house.  Very charming little place with great cocktails, coffee options, light fare, etc.  It is also next door to a little shop I had been wanting to check out.

But when I got to Hawthorne?  I didn't feel like I was ready to stop walking, so I kept on.

My walk took me a few more blocks to Belmont. I decided, finally, to turn the direction of my feet off of Southeast Thirtieth, and I headed east a few blocks.  It took me a minute to decide where to settle down for a bit, but I ended up at The Pied Cow.

Did I want Hookah, or wine?  Hm.  Wine.  Yes...

So, I sat outside in their lovely garden area, pulled out my book, pulled back a glass of Pinot Grigio, and just enjoyed being where I was for a few minutes.

Until I was done with that, at which point, I pulled out my phone, and began texting people I thought might be free that evening.

Did I mention I'm kind of an extravert?  Yes.  Hello.  My name is Hedro.  I don't do alone.  What was I thinking?  Ha!

Anyway, the walk had been just what I needed, and I felt ready to rejoin the human race.  So my friend Candice joined me, and we had a fantastic visit!

Sometimes, all you need is a nice long walk and a friend to make it all better.  I am still in a great mood from that walk.  Why did I ever stop doing that?


Monday, March 19, 2012

Hey there, it's been a while...

So, we went on a little trip this past week. I wish I could say it was for happy reasons. Unfortunately, it wasn't. See, one of Todd's best friends, certainly one of his oldest friends died tragically in a freak accident, on the 7th. I can only really hope that the poor guy didn't even know a moment of fear, because it happened so fast, and he was doing what he loved, when it happened.

Anyway, the topic is kind of painful, and out of respect for everyone involved, that's about all I'm willing to share there.

But I did take my camera with me on the trip, and we had patches of blue, where we did go out and enjoy ourselves. I created some sets for these pix, since there were a lot of them. Photography is pretty therapeutic for me, thankfully.

Here are some photos I took at a park, the second day we were there:

The rest of the set can be seen here:


Monday, January 30, 2012

Mt. Tabor Happy Fun Time.

On Saturday, my mother in law surprised us by showing up and watching the kids so we could go out and wander around as adults. We had a pretty good day, and spent part of our time at Mt. Tabor, which was good, because before that, we were bad, and ate a cupcake. So... big hill, with lots of stairs, it was!

I will admit that the damn thing felt like a brick in my belly, and getting up those stairs was not easy, but we love it up there. It is so gorgeous, and the views are fantastic. I only wish that it wasn't such a hazy day, as the pictures I took of said views, turned out pretty faint.

But still, a very good time!


Sunday, January 29, 2012

What I love about winter in Portland

Last night, after a day of running around, I was feeling quite amorous about my city. I don't really know how anyone could not. It is so beautiful here. The sky is magic, and the buildings, with the way they are lit? Holy hell, they are just gorgeous.

I love Portland through all of the seasons, but lately, I have really learned to appreciate winter. There is just something about the sky here, and the show that it puts on. It really does deliver on the drama, and make for an amazing backdrop for living.

I feel so fortunate to be able to witness this on a daily basis; especially after growing up in a place where you could drive over a hill, and on a good day, you could see buildings that were about a mile away.

On a bad day? Nothing.

But every day, regardless of good or bad, it looked as if someone had poured iced tea over the sky, and it just sat there, suspended in a strange layer, about to drench you.

I really don't miss LA. I will always prefer Portland, even with the rain that seems to go on, and on, and on.

Sorry LA Peeps. That's just the way it is. Can you blame me?


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Paleo-Friendly Brunch Quiche

Yes, it's true. It is possible to make crust for quiche that is gluten-free, and very low carb. My whole family loves this damn crust so much! I made it again this morning, and everyone went off about how good it was. What's nice, is that it's a cinch to whip up. SO much easier than conventional pie crust. That's an art.

You don't have to be really that great at anything to make this crust. You really could train a monkey, lemur, or well, any creature with opposable thumbs, to make it.

I'll get to the filling, as well, so you aren't baking just a crust, with no goodness. Don't worry!

Mise en place:

Flat surface, like a large cutting board.
Rolling Pin (I use a marble one, but a wooden one would suffice.)
2 decent-sized strips of parchment, or foil.
2 Medium-sized mixing bowls
1 small bowl for lemon zest
9-inch pie plate. (I used a tin one. A glass one heats differently, and may scorch the almond meal, just... be aware.)
Small amount of olive oil, for pan lubification.

Citrus reamer
Microplane for zesting
Strainer (not to be confused with colander, unless you enjoy your lemon seeds.)
Silicone, or rubber spatula


1 egg
Juice from 1 lemon
1 tbsp Greek Kalamata olive oil
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp sea salt
2 tsp granulated garlic
2 tsp rosemary
Zest from 1/2 a lemon
1 bag Trader Joe's Just Almond Meal (I say one bag, because I never measure this. I just add until the consistency is correct, which may vary, depending on the size of your egg and your lemon. Don't you hate it when people give exact measurements for things calling for one of something that is never uniform? I know I do.)

For Filling:

6 eggs
1 tsp sea salt
2 tsp granulated garlic
1/3 pound of your favourite sausage
Zest from 1/2 a lemon


Start by zesting your lemon completely into a small bowl. Be sure to only zest to the light yellow portion, to avoid getting any bitter, pithy portions in your mix.

Slice your lemon in half, and ream the juice, over a strainer into the first mixing bowl. Once all the juice has been collected, add the oil, then the egg. Whisk the hell out of the first three ingredients.

Next, add salt, and garlic.

Add baking soda.

Add 1/2 of the zest, and the rosemary.

Once that is incorporated, you are done with your whisk. Switch to a fork at this point, and begin slowly adding the almond meal, until it starts to feel like a solid piece of dough. Scrape the sides of the bowl with your rubber spatula until you no longer have to.

Gather up the dough in your hands. What you want is dough that sticks to itself, but not to you. At all. If it does, it will stick to the parchment, or foil. You will end up with a mess, and you will have to start that part over. So listen up!

Once you have the right consistency, and the dough is formed, and no longer sticky, roll into into a good ball, and set that down on your parchment, or foil.

Set another piece of parchment or foil on top of that, and roll it out to about 1/2 an inch in thickness; doing your best to keep the round shape, since it's going into a round pie plate.

Oil your pie plate! Whee!

If you got the consistency correct, you may need to smooth out any cracks in the sides of the dough with your fingers, but once you have done that, invert the crust onto the pie plate, then remove the paper, or foil, from the top of it.

At this point, you may need to do some slight finger shaping to get it to fit the pan. That's fine. Just do it evenly, and remember it doesn't have to be absolutely perfect.

Now that the crust is in place, move on to the filling. Super easy!

Break 6 eggs into your other mixing bowl
Add lemon Zest, garlic, and salt
Whisk like hell.

Pour mixture into crust, then take your 1/3 pound of sausage, and break it into small pieces, adding it evenly throughout the mixture. Bake at 325 for 35-40 minutes, checking once at 20 minutes.

Serves 4-6.



Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Well, see that right there? That's one great big huge horizon, idn'it?

Much, much, much going on in the land of beans. I am declaring this "Winter Term", and considering it (self-administered-homeschool) college, all over again. I will be eating books. Many things in my life are budding from little sprouts, and I need to tend that garden, and feed it with instructions on how to do this.

I have a feeling it will be a good time, and nothing but good can come of it, since I seem to have manifested many potential amazements that have yet to reach fruition. But when they do? Look out! The sky? What sky? It's past the sky!

First, and foremost, will be a kickstart to good health. The entire family needs an overhaul here. We seem to have fallen into a rut of what most would consider a very healthy diet, but only by conventional standards. For instance, we don't eat fast food. We don't eat junk, but we do eat rice, potatoes, and probably too much fruit. So, it's time to do something about the propane flares on the metabolism, and move things down to a more even keel.

This is going to require a glut of research on my part, since you don't just blindly fall into the Paleo lifestyle. We are also going full boar, and removing all spiking carbs, which seem to still be somewhat present in the paleo diet. I think it will help us all a great deal. I am worried about my kids, and the traps they may fall into health-wise, as well as socially. It is not fun to be a fat kid. I have plenty of experience there.

But if that is their fate, I will shower them with compassion, because it's true. It is not fun to be a fat kid.

Personally, I have had considerable trouble in the past year, trying to get a handle on things, without a whole lot of success. I am in fantastic shape, and I feel really good, but I am still not losing weight in the way that I had hoped I would. There is a possibility that I have some insulin resistance going on, and we are going to be testing for that, and addressing it soon.

And the genes are just... like cards stacked up against me. I come from a long line of hardy individuals. I... don't know. I'll get it figured out, and I will do it under close supervision by my doctor, who may actually help me keep my health and immune system this time.

The other thing I will be focusing on, is nurturing my itsy bitsy spider of a business. This, I'm realizing, is going to take time, and the main problem I have had here is marketing. I will figure this out, and I will turn a profit at some point, but it's just going to take a lot of time and energy. I am glad I have a lot of supportive friends and family in my corner here. This shit 'aint for wimps, let me tell you!

And... lastly, but certainly not least, I will continue to focus on my oldest child's education. She is special needs, as some of you may know. Her diagnosis is: "Mixed expressive/receptive disorder", most likely caused by a head injury sustained when she was a toddler. Basically, she has trouble communicating, as well as learning what she needs to learn. We placed her in speech therapy over the summer, and she has been set up on an individual education plan for a while now, and it's been going well. She is retaining things, and it is looking positive.

It is also very nice to see new blood in the special ed department at the school; teachers with a passion for helping students understand, and learn.

But it takes a lot of our time, love, and focus, for sure. What I would like to see, even more than things learned, is just an understanding and love for learning, that she doesn't quite seem to have down-pat yet. So... yeah. Lots to focus on and nurture here.

And in general: lots to dream, lots to learn, lots to forge into reality.

2012 is going to be another amazing year. I can already feel it!


Sunday, January 1, 2012

Resolution: Be a better bean. Or a butterbean. We'll see how it goes.

...but either way? Someone will keep loving me.

I am not too big on making resolutions, although I will say that I would like to work on a few things in the coming year.

1. I will play safe lawn darts in the coming year. This is paramount, because dangerous lawn darts are dangerous. I guess this would encapsulate well? Lawn darts in their conventional sense.


2. I will be nicer to people.

Sometimes? I can be a bitch. I am working on it. My husband is sitting here, reading over my shoulder, trying to interject things... like: "I should be nicer to my husband, who is the nicest person in the world."

To me. He is. It's true. And he's hot, too. But that's just for me. Don't you be gettin' any ideas, you other bitches.

3. I will fuck my husband's brains out. At least 4 times a day.

This is making him happy. I never said I keep all of my resolutions. But Mr. can expect a visit from me sometime... at work... for copy room antics. At least once. While he still works there. Probably this year.

And... just to keep count, I will carry a card in my pocket, where I draw hash marks.

4. I will work out more. I work out a lot now, but I will work out more. Being fat is lame. But please note here that I will not make this my absolute top priority, because in the past, that has lead to eating disorders, and unhealthy expectations re: working out, followed by not so great results, like hurting myself, because I would forgo things like sleeping, just so I could work out. So yeah.

Lawn darts! Fuckin' safe lawn darts are where it's at.

5. I will be more open to starting new friendships. Because there are never too many. People are pretty cool. They are my species. I should be around even more of them.

If I fail on all five of these? I will suddenly poof and become a butterbean. Someone will still like me, I'm sure.