Sunday, October 9, 2011

It only takes once: Proof that my friends are a terrible influence on me.

There are times when I am so influenced by a certain misspelling, or slang term that I will always think of that when I see the real word, though should probably try to use... the real word, instead of what has replaced it in my mind.

Exhibit A: The word "Amazeballz".

It's not even a word, but now, when I see the word "Amazing", no matter where, and no matter the context, it always reads as "Amazeballz" to me.

The other day, as I dropped my daughter off at school, a little boy wore a message T-shirt, that read: "The Amazing Spider Man", with a cartoon drawing of him on the front. But in my mind? Spiderman was... Amazeballz. It took me a second to register that a small child probably would not wear that particular non-word on his chest, and I had to re-read to confirm that yes, in fact, this was all in my head, and no, they really did not make a shirt that size with that non-word emblazoned across the front of it.

See what you people are doing to me? Do you see? DO YOU SEE???

And still more proof follows with Exhibit B: The word "Waffle." Oh lord.

Really, this should be a benign, innocuous breakfast food. But no. It will never, ever be the same. See? Several months ago now, some friends started using a word that described someone so annoying, the only word left that fit was "Twatwaffle". It is the kind of word that goes well with a cough, and as you can imagine... perfect to fit into conversation, virtually undetected, unless you speak smartass, which I happen to be fluent in.

It was all very funny, but now? Whenever I see the word "waffle" anywhere in public, I crack up a little. And good lord. How long have I known the normal, everyday meaning of that word?

It will never be the same.

Here is another example of my mind's ridiculous ability to adjust to its surroundings. This one actually has nothing to do with my friends, but still... guh.

Exhibit C: Unintentional Misspellings.

There was a woman I worked with several years ago with a name that wasn't easy to spell. I was in charge of all things filing, because I was young like that, and whoever had made her file folder up, had transposed two letters in her name. No matter how many times I saw her name spelled correctly in print; because of that particular misspelling on her folder, my mind would always transpose those letters, and I would read it the other way. I had to really concentrate so that I would not also make the same mistake any time I needed to type her name up for any reason.

I even went so far as to make a new label for her folder the second week I was in that office, but alas, to no avail; the synapses were already misfiring, and she would forever be Mrs. Misspelled to me.

Sad, but true.

One of these days, maybe I will decide to just be set in my ways, and my brain will be an impervious store of knowledge that neither I, nor anyone around me will question. Although... I have to wonder if that's actually a good idea either? See? The older you get, and the more you learn, the less you really do know.

It is getting worse with the internet.

I had a conversation over coffee recently with Miranda about this, and about how the ability to "Google" anything and everything, and not having to actually know things anymore, because we all have our little "smart phones" and other devices, might actually be a bad thing. If it's there, and you don't feel the need to store it organically anymore, will you?

Is Google destroying our ability to retain information?

It could be. If you know it's there at your disposal, and you are busy with other implements of world domination, it's quite possible that you may need to go back and look at something again and again. And thinking about my own mind, and how it will retain incorrect information because it likes to taunt me, it could be quite dangerous. Hm.

And yet? I still do it all the time.


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