People of Portland:
It has come to my attention that some of you like to walk around this time of year sans shoes. You will be dressed in a nondescript manner for the most part, 'cept for this tiny detail. Has there been some sort of weird winter uprising against shoes? What's wrong with shoes???
Can you explain this one to me?
Because frankly, I don't understand what you are doing, why, or where you might be going. I can't think of a public place that would find this acceptable indoors, and yet, you flout the laws of decency, sanity, normalcy, and other things that would make me less worried, just so you can pull your weird little stunt.
See? Shoes. They are a good thing.
Think. Yes. Please do that, because shoes are useful things; especially in an urban setting, where some gross drunk homeless dude with hepatitis C may have puked all over the sidewalk. This is something that sort of becomes less noticeable when it rains, which, oddly enough, is when I see you out there barefoot. But the puke. Just because it's dilute, or not really detectable, could still be there, and basically all spread out, because yeah... rain does that to things.
Or what about broken glass? That's pretty common in the city. It happens a lot, and usually about a block before you find the puke, because that same dude was done with his Bottle'O'Icehouse, didn't know what to do with it... making use of his ability to throw things on the ground. Then, a block later, he makes use of his ability to do... other things. You get the picture.
I know, I know. Gross. But hey, common sense usually trumps gross. I'm glad I have it.
What is the motivation here? Are you trying to look tough? If that's all it is, why not just pick up a metal-spiked bangle bracelet, or collar? Good lord, you can get those at the mall, at that damn Hot Topic store. I think they even have them for fat girls at Torrid. I've heard a lot of people find individuals who wear them somewhat severe, surly, and intimidating. That must be what you're going for, at least a little bit, right?
Get a tattoo. Get a piercing. Dye your hair turquoise. Be normal.
But please. Wear shoes. Don't be a moron.